“Today would have been my 9th year of marriage anniversary. Instead of celebrating I am filling out d asdfadsf ”

Today would have been my 9th year of marriage anniversary. Instead of celebrating I am filling out divorce papers. We have a 7 year old child with a physical disability. We never had much means but a promise for a good future. I am the one who initiated the divorce there was too much fighting too little love. I have nobody to blame. How do I go on? Will my child forgive me?