“Always a strong soul, able to keep it together & stay above ??? I now find life caring in is me asdfadsf ”

Always a strong soul, able to keep it together & stay above ??? I now find life caring in is me like a hollow shell the blank page no longer holds portentions feelings or pregnent or ficipation. I Love is for away and ever desire seems prefunctry and make. What single prectice. Penedifuted or ????? Might I ??? in to give me a vision of renewal & a return to creative maginables. I will take my self with me Whenever I go i what can i do to baegain to see out of the ??? of ??? & cynical despair?