“How do I do this get an apartment before the 25th w/o a car or money and get back to north carolim b asdfadsf ”

How do I do this get an apartment before the 25th w/o a car or money and get back to north carolim before the 25th ? ( and go to a party in connetiwt tonight, visit to two friends in N.Y and get into clearwater for free?) Remember, & have no mony! EEK!