“So it has come to the point where my mother thinks she has my dad trapped in the basement and paces asdfadsf ”

So it has come to the point where my mother thinks she has my dad trapped in the basement and paces around the empty house glaring out the windows and then putting sheets up to hide what happens inside. Left here for so long & came back to attempt looking at myself in a mirror and accepting who I am & where I came from. Yet how can I accept what I am just a walking image of? As if I see what I want to change but just don't know the how Does anyone?