“You claim not to be pretentious or to answer out of douchery or tooliness, But you give straight-fac asdfadsf ”

You claim not to be pretentious or to answer out of douchery or tooliness, But you give straight-faced broad answers to very apparent joke questions. (Hogwarts, Big boobs, Canada like the wizard said, always saying I'm Johnny! ever if it's something like, Are you my soulmate?) What's up?