“Some people are so hurt and ashamed that they generate a lot of drama, lashing out and pretending th asdfadsf ”

Some people are so hurt and ashamed that they generate a lot of drama, lashing out and pretending that their pain comes from others, it gets worse if they have a biochemical imbalance that makes them anxious and thus likely to interpret small things with alarm. The only solution is not to be permissive. Weed those people out of your life entirely!