“Think, does it really make me happy? And am I doing my fair share of giving in the family, and that asdfadsf ”

Think, does it really make me happy? And am I doing my fair share of giving in the family, and that will help you decide. If you think it's the right thing but too draining, look for ways to simplify. Get food made by a caterer or sign up family volunteers as a condition of your hosting. Don't forget to love yourself.